Around one in two women in Britain have been physically or sexually assaulted, according to the world’s biggest ever report into abuse suffered by women.
Two weeks ago a man in France was arrested for raping his daughter. She’d gone to her school counselor and then the police, but they needed “hard evidence.” So, she videotaped her next assault. Her father was eventually arrested. His attorney explained, “There was a period when he was unemployed and in the middle of a divorce. He insists that these acts did not stretch back further than three or four months. His daughter says longer. But everyone should be very careful in what they say.” Because, really, even despite her seeking help, her testimony, her bravery in setting up a webcam to film her father raping her, you really can’t believe what the girl says, can you?
Everyone “knows” this. Even children.
Three years ago, in fly-on-the-wall fashion of parent drivers everywhere, I listened while a 14-year-old girl in the back seat of my car described how angry she was that her parents had stopped allowing her to walk home alone just because a girl in her neighborhood “claimed she was raped.” When I asked her if there was any reason to think the girl’s story was not true, she said, “Girls lie about rape all the time.”
She didn’t know the person, she just assumed she was lying.
No one says, “You can’t trust women,” but distrust them we do. College students surveyed revealed that they think up to 50% of their female peers lie when they accuse someone of rape, despite wide-scale evidence and multi-country studies that show the incident of false rape reports to be in the 2%-8% range, pretty much the same as false claims for other crimes. As late as 2003, people jokingly (wink, wink) referred to Philadelphia’s sex crimes unit as “the lying bitch unit.” If an 11-year-old girl told an adult that her father took out a Craigslist ad to find someone to beat and rape her while he watched, as recently actually occurred, what do you think the response would be? Would she need to provide a videotape after the fact?
It goes way beyond sexual assault as well. That’s just the most likely and obvious demonstration of “women are born to lie” myths. Women’s credibility is questioned in the workplace, in courts, by law enforcement, indoctors’ offices, and in our political system. People don’t trust women to be bosses, or pilots, or employees. Pakistan’s controversial Hudood Ordinance still requires a female rape victim to procure four male witnesses to her rape or risk prosecution for adultery. In August, a survey of managers in the United States revealed that they overwhelmingly distrust women who request flextime. It’s notable, of course, that women are trusted to be mothers—the largest pool of undervalued, unpaid, economically crucial labor.
Pop culture and art are just the cherry on the top of the icing on a huge cake. The United States is among the most religious of all countries in the industrialized world. So, while some people wring their hands over hip hop, I’m more worried about how men like Rick Santorum and Ken Cuccinelli explain to their daughters why they can’t be priests. I know that there is hip hop that exceeds the bounds of taste and is sodden with misogyny. But, people seem to think that those manifestations of hatred are outside of the mainstream when, in reality, it’s just more of the same set to great beats. Hip hop has nothing on religious misogyny and its political expression.
An entire political party’s “social policy” agenda is being pursued under a rubric that insists women need “permission slips” and “waiting periods.” The recent shutdown? Conservatives holding the country hostage because they want to add anti-abortion “conscience clause” language to legislation. Whose consciences are we talking about? All the morally incompetent and untrustworthy men who need abortions?
It’s no exaggeration to say that distrust of women is the driving force of the “social issues” agenda of the Republican Party. From food stamps and “legitimate rape,” to violence against women and immigration policy. “We need to target the mother. Call it sexist, but that’s the way nature made it,” explained the man who penned Arizona’s immigration law. “Men don’t drop anchor babies, illegal alien mothers do.” I could do this ad infinitum.
Imagine you have a Rolex watch. Nice fancy Rolex, you bought it because you like the way it looks and you wanted to treat yourself. And then you get beaten and mugged and your Rolex is stolen. So you go to the police. Only, instead of investigating the crime, the police want to know why you were wearing a Rolex instead of a regular watch. Have you ever given a Rolex to anyone else? Is it possible you wanted to be mugged? Why didn’t you wear long sleeves to cover up the Rolex if you didn’t want to be mugged?
And then after that, everywhere you go, there are constant jokes about stealing your Rolex. People you don’t even know whistle at your Rolex and make jokes about cutting your hand off to get it. The media doesn’t help either; it portrays people who wear Rolexes as flamboyant assholes who secretly just want someone to come along and take that Rolex off their hands. When damn, all you wanted was to wear a nice watch without getting harassed for it. When you complain that you are starting to feel unsafe, people laugh you off and say that you are too uptight. Never mind you got violently attacked for the crime of wearing a friggin time piece.
Imagining all that? It sucks, doesn’t it.
Now imagine you could never take the Rolex off.
|—||The Wretched of the Earth: On Rape Culture (via felicefawn)|
I decided to check the tags today. For rape culture. I expected reasoned articles, blog posts, things to think about and maybe reblog. And there were some. A few. Not a lot that I hadn’t already read.
But there was also a lot of bashing. Women hating. Feminism being used as a slur, an insult. As if considering yourself a feminist immediately negates your point of view. Well, guess what? I’m a feminist. I’m not a man hater. I’m not a lesbian. I’m not a victim of sexual violence. I’ve gotten harassed by men, sure, but I’m sad to say, what woman hasn’t? My experiences have been negligible compared to the experiences of others.
But even I know rape culture exists.
It’s not a lie made up by evil women who hate men. It’s not a lie by “feminazis.” It’s reality.
Rape culture is in the way even my mother, progressive as she is, says a certain young female celebrity who dresses provocatively is dressing “slutty.” Rape culture is when there is more concern for males accused of rape than the women who’ve been raped. Rape culture is when it turns out a certain male athlete was convicted of rape and no one gives a damn. He still gets all the endorsements.
Rape culture is what happens when marriage starts as the exchange of female “property” (which it did), and while the definition changed, the reality is still catching up. Rape culture is when a woman gets a promotion, and even it’s not said aloud (though it usually is), both her male and female coworkers wonder and joke about who she had to sleep with to get it. Rape culture is rape being trivialized, it’s rape used as a metaphor for something else (“these prices are raping my wallet,”), it’s rape being the first suggestion made when a woman makes herself known in a male-dominated arena online (hello, online gaming).
Rape culture is women told to be sexy by every advertisement ever, but then being ridiculed and sexually harassed when they are. Rape culture is being constantly harassed for having big boobs and not realizing how fucked up it is until years later because no one else at the time thought it was, even though you were in elementary school. (That one happened to me.) Rape culture is an eleven-year-old girl being gang raped, and the news articles that report it mentioning how she “dressed older” and “hung out with older boys.” Even though an eleven-year-old cannot legally give consent to sex anyway.
Rape culture is every single time a woman is raped and someone gives her the third degree about her behavior/clothes/alcohol level. Rape culture is every single time someone cat calls a woman and then responds with anger when she doesn’t see being singled out and harassed by a stranger as a “compliment.” Rape culture is when a man thinks that if he’s bought a woman drinks, or they’ve gone out on a few dates, she “owes” him sex. Rape culture is when some man hangs on a woman’s every word, never says he likes her, but she still “owes” him sex.
Rape culture is not just the act of rape. It is the culture that normalizes rape. It is the culture that blames victims. That has to have a different definition for “date rape” and “marital rape” because before then, it wasn’t always recognized as rape. (Often, it still isn’t.) You don’t have to be a rapist to be a participant in rape culture. You don’t have to be a rape victim to understand or accept that rape culture exists. And being a participant in rape culture doesn’t automatically mean you’re a terrible person. It means you were raised in this culture. And that is not your fault.
But staying ignorant and getting defensive when rape culture is pointed out, that is all you.
Remember last year there was a ‘thing’ about the possibility of rapists being able to assert parental rights in certain states & half the internet was all ‘no…nobody would ever do that’. (Around the time of ‘legitimate rape’ via Todd Akin’s wisdom.) Well guess what, motherfuckers, this asshole monster of a person actually said it in court today.
Now sit the fuck down & listen to the shit survivors say, & the experiences they say they’ve dealt with as a result of their sexual assaults.
ATTENTION COSPLAYER GIRLS IN REDDING, CA!!!!
I know that people were really upset and angry about this happening in comic con, but it’s moved outside of conventions.
Me and my cousin were walking around Walmart, she had a superman tshirt on and I was walking around with her aot shirt her friend sent her from comic con. We were there picking up stuff for a party when a couple of guys ran up behind us and slapped these stickers on both our asses. I turned around and punched one of them out of reflex and they called security. We told the security guards about them slapping stickers on our butts and they got taken to the manager.
I’m pissed, mainly because I had my ass slapped by a couple of guys who were in college. My cousin is 16 and I’m almost 18, therefor it’s sexual assault of a minor.
Spread this around for any other fans that live in Redding, cause those guys aren’t alone and they’re still ‘handing them out’. Please be careful.
who would just casually carry around these stickers at walmart
Really? This is what it’s turning into? They’re so offended that girls are in their fandom, they feel a need to mass produce stickers and slap them on the rear ends of people they’ve never spoken to? What if they’re a bigger fan than you? But of course that could never happen. They’re women!
And another thing: Even if someone isn’t as big of a fan as you… who died and made you king of the fandom? Who the hell even cares? “They can be annoying sometimes!” isn’t an excuse to be an elitist asshole, and assume certain people aren’t “REAL FANS LIKE YOU HURRR”. Are you going to pee all over your comic books to make sure they know it’s your territory? Grow up and mind your own buisness.
I hope you two pressed charges.
PLEASE READ AND REBLOG!!!!!
Put your car keys beside your bed at night.
Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr’s office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across. Put your car keys beside your bed at night.
If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies.
This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It’s a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage.
If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won’t stick around. After a few seconds, all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won’t want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.
I posted last week asking people if they knew of some good resources for male victims of sexual assault. Here is the list people came up with:
reblog for signal boost
in my social studies class we were talking about laws and shit and one boy goes “Why is rape illegal? Don’t girls like dominance?” and the smallest girl in class got up and socked him in the jaw and said “Shouldn’t you like that? Don’t you like acting tough?” and everyone got quiet for a second and then slow clapped it out for her